Regret
by FullMetal Muggle
Summary: He's waited for Edward for three years... But can he wait any longer? WARNING: YAOI/SHOUNEN-AI/EDxROY If you don't like, don't read!


_**He's waited for him... for 3 years... but should he wait any longer?**_

_**WARNING!: YAOI/ SHOUNEN-AI/EDXROY I you don't like then don't read!!!  
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**^^ hope you guys like... I've had to hide it away from my parents...they don't know what Yaoi is... and I want to keep it that way xD **

**Enjoy!! Don't forget to review! ^-^**

**DISCLAIMER: i do not own FullMetal Alchemist or any of the characters; but if i did there would be many changes ^\\\^  
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_Patter... patter.... patter...._

The steady falling rain drummed against the roof; the sound echoing in my large, almost empty office. I sat at my desk holding a half empty glass filled with a golden amber liquid.

"_You really shouldn't drink y'know"_

A familiar stern but child-like voice echoed in my head; that same voiced has haunted me for 3 years now.... I sighed and I took another sip from my glass and then set it down on the desk.... my gaze went from the glass to the miniature calendar sitting on the corner of my desk.

_October 11th, the day the Elric's burned down their house.... and the day of Edward's death-3 years ago today._

I reached out for my glass and finished off the contents inside it. I know Edward would be mad at me for drinking – I had even stopped for a while, just for him- but once Ed had "Died" it was the only thing that numbed the pain; filled the emptiness I felt now that he was gone. I set the glass down and leaned back in my chair, listening to the rhythmic drumming of the rain.

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"_Dead? What the hell are you talking about?" I bolted upright in the hospital bed I was laying in._

"_I'm sorry sir but Fullmetal... Is dead." Lt. Hawkeye's voice was gentle and filled with sadness, but to me each word felt like knives, each word stabbing deeper into my heart. I laid there silently trying hard to show no emotion but it was useless. _

"_It's ok sir, I know you are upset, everyone is. He was part of the team and we'll all miss him." and with that she stood up and made her way to the door. "Try and get some rest sir." I laid there in the silent room, completely rejecting the idea of Edward's death. I refused to believe that the stubborn, short-tempered, young alchemist he had come to know, and love, could be dead. Nobody knew how we felt about each other, no one could ever understand._

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"_Ever since that day I've been waiting for him, but... what if he really isn't coming back? What if... all this waiting was wasted?" _

I hated the thought of Edward being gone but now... the more I thought of it the more it seemed likely.

"_Should I wait any longer?" _

Before I realised what I was doing, I had opened one of the desk drawers and was looking down at a single white glove with a red transmutation circle on it.

" _Or have I waited long enough?" _

Beside the glove was a picture of Edward, the only one I had. It was from a Christmas party a couple of months before Ed had died. I pulled the picture and the glove out of their resting place and set the picture on the desk and slipped the glove on. I couldn't take it anymore. It killed me to think that Edward was gone and he wasn't coming back. I couldn't stand to wait here any more. I wanted to be with Edward again.

"_I would do anything."_

I held my hand beneath my chin. My fingers pressed together tightly.

"_I would end it all." _

I looked down at the picture once more smiling as I remembered all the times we had spent together, the good and the bad.

"_As long as I can be with you once again."_

I closed my eyes, a single tear rolled down my cheek as I got ready to end it all.

"_I'm coming Edward"_

"What the hell do you think you're doing Roy?" I felt a hand take mine and pull it away from my face._ That voice... _slowly I opened my eyes to find Edward holding onto my hand and looking at me disapprovingly. I couldn't believe my eyes; just moments ago I was about to end my life to be with this young alchemist and now he was standing right in front of me.

"Edward..... it's really you...." I stammered. He smiled at me and nodded.

"Yea it's me... who else would it be?" He frowned as he slipped the glove off of the hand that he was still holding onto. "Look at you, you're completely drunk. And what are you doing with this?" He held up my glove and waved it around but I didn't answer him right away. I looked down trying to avoid his gaze.

"I waited for you.... for three years Edward! They said you were dead and... I was starting to believe them." My voice was wavering as I spoke. I felt a hand on cheek; Edward lifted my head and our eyes made contact, his golden eyes filled with regret.

"I'm sorry Roy... I never wanted to leave you..." As he spoke he leaned closer to me, our faces just inches away. I wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled him closer to me as our lips met. When we broke apart, Edward buried his head in my neck. "I've missed you."

"I've missed you too." Even when the times we were together Edward was always so strong but right now he seemed so fragile. I held onto him, wishing that this moment would never end. We sat there for what felt like an eternity, and soon a wave of exhaustion swept over me. As much as I tried to, I couldn't fight the drowsiness that loomed over me and I had soon dosed off.

"_Roy... wait for me... I'll be back soon."_

When I woke I felt horrible. My head was throbbing and I was dizzy. Looking around I noticed that Edward was nowhere to be found in the large office. I brushed my bangs out of my eyes, with the same hand that still wore the glove. _"Was it all a dream? An illusion? It all seemed so real..." _I got up from my seat slowly and then hid the bottle and glass in a small cupboard, hoping Hawkeye wouldn't spot it. I would be in for an ear-full if she found it; like Edward, she insisted I stop my drinking habits and nagged me every time she found a glass in my office. I walked back to the desk and slipped the glove off, putting it back into its resting place in the drawer. I picked up the picture that laid in the middle of my desk and smiled. _"Even if it was just an illusion or dream... I'll keep waiting for you... No matter how long I have to wait... I'll be waiting here for you."_

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_**Well I hoped you liked! Don't foget to review! I have cookies to give to reviewers! ^-^**


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